Couples Counselling

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

EFT uses the lens of attachment theory and is an evidenced-based humanistic therapy approach that focuses on the ways in which our interpersonal interactions get organized into patterns and cycles. EFT is a form of counselling that helps individuals improve their emotional connection and intimacy in relationships. As an EFT therapist, my role is to help couples identify the negative patterns of interaction that are contributing to their relationship distress. Identifying the negative cycle can help couples become more aware of their underlying emotions and needs, and to communicate these in a way that promotes connection and emotional safety. I work with couples to help them to develop a deeper emotional understanding of each other, being able to pause in the moment to really hear and listen to each other, to promote empathy and compassion between them and to enhance their ability to intentionally respond versus just reacting.

Evidence Based

Research has shown that EFT is a highly effective form of therapy for couples and that it can lead to lasting improvements in relationship satisfaction and overall well-being. In clinical studies EFT has about a 70-73% success rate at achieving the goals of the couple therapy, with a 90% improvement rate even when not all goals where achieved (Johnson et al., 1999; Wiebe & Johnson, 2016).

One meta-analysis of 16 studies on EFT found that it was significantly more effective than other forms of couples therapy in improving relationship satisfaction and reducing relationship distress (Johnson et al., 1999).

EFT Couples Therapy Sessional Work

The goal of EFT is to work toward what’s called “secure attachment.” That is, the idea that each partner can provide a sense of security, protection, and comfort for the other, and can be available to support their partner in creating a positive sense of self and the ability to effectively regulate their own emotions.

This is different than other types of couples therapy where you might be teaching skills, tools, and scripts to aid couples in improving their communication. The EFT community find that when our emotions are heightened during an argument, it can prove too difficult to remember those tools and therefore are not implemented. It’s really about restructuring and finding an understanding about why and how we get into those patterns in the first place so that we can interrupt them.

The ultimate outcome of treatment involves a new sense of self and a new way of relating to your partner, which in turn evokes new responses from your partner.

I will work with you as a couple to identify the negative patterns of interaction that are contributing to your relationship distress, and to help you develop more effective communication and coping strategies. The ultimate goal is the development of a secure emotional connection between partners that is characterised by emotional accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement.

“A secure emotional connection does not stop fights, differences, or hurt feelings in a relationship,” advises George Faller. “But what it does is provide the best platform to deal with those things.”