Family Therapy
Despite how much we love members of our family, there are times when we may not like them. Challenges within the family dynamic whether it’s a breakdown in communication, becoming escalated from a reactive place and not listening to others, or feeling disconnected emotionally from your loved ones are challenges experienced by many families. A simple disagreement with another family member can spiral into a major argument. Our version of listening is not really about trying to see the other’s perspective but more about how we respond, which then lends itself to impatiently talking over the other person or just shutting down and withdrawing.
During the therapy sessions my approach is to understand the interaction patterns within your family, then help each member understand how they relate to each other by identifying triggers, especially in relation to specific interactions.
This involves several steps:
- Helping you as a family to identify the negative cycle of interaction and conflict.
- Guiding the family as a unit to help break the negative cycle, which involves understanding your emotions under the surface and how they impact the way you relate to each other. Upon reaching this understanding you are more open to hearing each other’s perspective in the absence of blame thus leading to a more positive relationship.
- Learning to really listen to each other’s point of view will increase empathy and understanding of each other’s perspective. Feeling seen and heard, having our thoughts and feelings validated helps reduce tension and increases stronger emotional bonds therefore resulting in better conflict resolution and sustaining a more positive connection with each other.
These steps will contribute to a better sense of safety to express your emotions and needs and therefore restructure negative reactive patterns. In other words, Instead of pushing down/bottling up emotions and lashing out you learn how to communicate your feelings and wants in a way that fosters understanding and resolution.
The goal of the therapeutic approach which is underpinned by Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), is to increase secure attachment bonds within the family to serve as a safe haven and secure base in order to promote resilience when faced with stress and adversity.
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